Sunday, December 23, 2007

I am NOT liking it

Okay, I thought I wanted to stay with the rabbi's daughter, but now I don't. She's nice and pretty and everything, but I don't like mama packing up stuff, and I don't like her leaving. So, I take it back. I don't want the rabbi's daughter. I want mama. I'm calling the airport now. NO to mamas leaving with suitcases. Just. say. no.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Rabbi's Daughter

is nice.
I showed her my pretty paws. I showed her my belly. I even gave her a kiss.
Mama says you shouldn't give kisses until you get to know people.
But I like her.
She's nice.
She's littler than other humans.
I like the rabbi's daughter. I hope mama leaves soon.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Dear Santa

Human mama says I should write to you if I want Christmas presents. She also says I have to tell you if I've been naughty or nice. I thought it was Jesus who wanted to know that, so I'm a little confused. And explain to me the part about "sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake?" Why do you care if I'm asleep or awake? I'm a cat. I sleep like a million hours a day. I don't understand. Am I supposed to be sleeping more--or less?

So, Santa, it's cold out today and the heat isn't very good in the 'part of ment. I have to follow human mama around 'cuz she's warmer than the radiators are. Can you make the stingy landlord give us more heat? Because I'm tired. I'm tired of walking around and around looking for mama (heat machine.)

What else I want is this:

I want Whistle and Fish to come and visit. We would play. It would be so much fun. Can you give them tickets please? First class? They'd have to fly unaccompanied minor but it'd be okay.

I want more string toys. I love string toys.
I want girlkitty to like me more.

I want to go to acting school. I think I'd be very good at commercials but I need some training. Oh and head shots. I need head shots, too.

Please, Santa? Pretty please with greenies on top??

Now about that good and bad thing. Well, I'm not always good, Santa, I admit it. I sometimes scratch the furniture, and wake up human mama for no known reason in the middle of the night, and I stole some earrings (but she found them so taht doesn't count.)And I still jump on my sister's head, and chew on shoes, and knock things over kind of sort of on purpose.

But I'm trying to be better.

And more importantly, I'm good, too! I give sister baths every chance I get, and I know she likes it 'cause she doesn't hiss. I let her have the extra wonderful spot behidn the couch with the pillows and near the radiator. I also never ever go into her room of her own. And I meet my human mama at the door most of the time. And I go in the litter box not anywhere else. And I clean my plate every time. And i keep my human mama company. And I have been working on my blog. And I let human mama put that horrible collar on me and take my picture. And I have never ever even once used my claws on a human or a kitty, only on furniture. And I've learned to sleep under the covers so that sister and I don't fight. And I was in 2 sermons this year as a sermon example---a good one! And I love my sister even though she doesn't love me and I love my human mama and my breath doesn't stink anymore.

That's all.

I hope you're having a nice day.

You look nice in red.

Say hi to Mrs. Claus.

Your good friend forever,

Saturday, December 15, 2007

The latest

Now human mama says the rabbi's daughter might come and watch me from teh 27th on. But who is going to feed me on the 25th and 26th? Maybe Barbara.

I don't like any of this at all.

I don't want my human mama to leave, I don't want to go in a C-A-R, either.

And I don't know what a rabbi is, and if a rabbi's daughter would be nice or not. She's 15. What is THAT supposed to mean?

I am beginning to doubt human mama's abilities to effectively care for my needs.

In the meantiime, I'm thinking about my Christmas list. Will post soon.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


The human mama is worried.
There is nobody to take care of me and girlkitty when she goes to visit her human mama.
There is some talk of a car, and kittycat tranquilizers.
This makes me worried.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Whistle & Fish, Come Get Me.

Originally uploaded by ppolarbear
This. Is. Just. Wrong.

Girlkitty Guest Blogs

Originally uploaded by ppolarbear
Dear LMK,
Here's the deal. Every once in a while the human gets it in her head that we would look good in a costume. I don't understand it at all. It must be a cultural thing of some sort. (Remember, humans don't understand why we chase our tails or beg for food when our bowls are full either, so we do have to cut them a little slack.)

So when this happens, and it will happen, don't hiss and howl and protest. Don't try to bat the little hat off your head or pull the collar off. It only prolongs the agony. Just sit there, let her take the picture and it will be over with before you know it.

Besides, all that whining ruined my nap.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

A truce

Girlkitty and I have a truce. We can both sleep in the big bed, near the heat machine if I sleep under the covers and she sleeps over them. This way she doesn't get boy germs on her fur.

It's getting cold out.
I like the space heater, and the blankets, but I worry about my pet squirrels. Do they have a human heat machine to snuggle with when it's cold out? I talk to them through the window but they never answer. I worry.