Okay, I thought I wanted to stay with the rabbi's daughter, but now I don't. She's nice and pretty and everything, but I don't like mama packing up stuff, and I don't like her leaving. So, I take it back. I don't want the rabbi's daughter. I want mama. I'm calling the airport now. NO to mamas leaving with suitcases. Just. say. no.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I showed her my pretty paws. I showed her my belly. I even gave her a kiss.
Mama says you shouldn't give kisses until you get to know people.
But I like her.
She's littler than other humans.
I like the rabbi's daughter. I hope mama leaves soon.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 6:27 PM
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Human mama says I should write to you if I want Christmas presents. She also says I have to tell you if I've been naughty or nice. I thought it was Jesus who wanted to know that, so I'm a little confused. And explain to me the part about "sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake?" Why do you care if I'm asleep or awake? I'm a cat. I sleep like a million hours a day. I don't understand. Am I supposed to be sleeping more--or less?
So, Santa, it's cold out today and the heat isn't very good in the 'part of ment. I have to follow human mama around 'cuz she's warmer than the radiators are. Can you make the stingy landlord give us more heat? Because I'm tired. I'm tired of walking around and around looking for mama (heat machine.)
What else I want is this:
I want Whistle and Fish to come and visit. We would play. It would be so much fun. Can you give them tickets please? First class? They'd have to fly unaccompanied minor but it'd be okay.
I want more string toys. I love string toys.
I want girlkitty to like me more.
I want to go to acting school. I think I'd be very good at commercials but I need some training. Oh and head shots. I need head shots, too.
Please, Santa? Pretty please with greenies on top??
Now about that good and bad thing. Well, I'm not always good, Santa, I admit it. I sometimes scratch the furniture, and wake up human mama for no known reason in the middle of the night, and I stole some earrings (but she found them so taht doesn't count.)And I still jump on my sister's head, and chew on shoes, and knock things over kind of sort of on purpose.
But I'm trying to be better.
And more importantly, I'm good, too! I give sister baths every chance I get, and I know she likes it 'cause she doesn't hiss. I let her have the extra wonderful spot behidn the couch with the pillows and near the radiator. I also never ever go into her room of her own. And I meet my human mama at the door most of the time. And I go in the litter box not anywhere else. And I clean my plate every time. And i keep my human mama company. And I have been working on my blog. And I let human mama put that horrible collar on me and take my picture. And I have never ever even once used my claws on a human or a kitty, only on furniture. And I've learned to sleep under the covers so that sister and I don't fight. And I was in 2 sermons this year as a sermon example---a good one! And I love my sister even though she doesn't love me and I love my human mama and my breath doesn't stink anymore.
I hope you're having a nice day.
You look nice in red.
Say hi to Mrs. Claus.
Your good friend forever,
Posted by Littlemankitty at 7:17 AM
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Now human mama says the rabbi's daughter might come and watch me from teh 27th on. But who is going to feed me on the 25th and 26th? Maybe Barbara.
I don't like any of this at all.
I don't want my human mama to leave, I don't want to go in a C-A-R, either.
And I don't know what a rabbi is, and if a rabbi's daughter would be nice or not. She's 15. What is THAT supposed to mean?
I am beginning to doubt human mama's abilities to effectively care for my needs.
In the meantiime, I'm thinking about my Christmas list. Will post soon.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 6:26 PM
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Here's the deal. Every once in a while the human gets it in her head that we would look good in a costume. I don't understand it at all. It must be a cultural thing of some sort. (Remember, humans don't understand why we chase our tails or beg for food when our bowls are full either, so we do have to cut them a little slack.)
So when this happens, and it will happen, don't hiss and howl and protest. Don't try to bat the little hat off your head or pull the collar off. It only prolongs the agony. Just sit there, let her take the picture and it will be over with before you know it.
Besides, all that whining ruined my nap.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 4:57 PM
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Girlkitty and I have a truce. We can both sleep in the big bed, near the heat machine if I sleep under the covers and she sleeps over them. This way she doesn't get boy germs on her fur.
It's getting cold out.
I like the space heater, and the blankets, but I worry about my pet squirrels. Do they have a human heat machine to snuggle with when it's cold out? I talk to them through the window but they never answer. I worry.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 4:27 PM
Thursday, November 22, 2007
First of all, my human mom found the earring that I stole and hid. It was under the carpet in the living room. WAY under. But she found it. Rats!
Then, human mom made food on the stove. This doesn't happen a lot. I had some food. It was good. Then things were cooling down so I thought I'd have a little more. And I knocked over a lot of stuff, and that made a really, really loud noise and kinda scared human mom.
But the big, big, news is this: I picked up a DIME today!!!!!! This is a picture of me with it. You can't see it because I'm HOLDING it, but you have to trust me. I got a DIME!!!!
Can you see all of my toesies in the picture? I flexed them out so they'd look nice in the picture.
Gotta go. Want to steal something else before the day is over.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 8:09 PM
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saint Casserole says that anybody can be tagged from her game.
So I tag---me!
10 random things about me!
1. I have 6 toes on each of my front paws.
2. I can pick up quarters with my paws.
3. There were 3 boys in my birth family. The shelter named us after the 3 muskateers.
4. My name was Porthos.
5. I steal things out of the print box over my mama's desk, even though I know it makes her really, really crazy 'cuz they're "special."
6. I don't believe in special.
7. I don't like being picked up. I like to jump on laps, not be picked up. Boykitty liked to be picked up, but I had to tell mama that not all boys are alike.
8. Every day, I find something of my mama's and put it in my food bowl.
9. I always eat from the bowl on the right.
10. Sometimes I forget to close my mouth. I sit there with my mouth hanging open until someone laughs at me. It's REALLY easy to forget to close your mouth. Don't laugh.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 8:58 PM
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Human mama went away.
Then she came back.
Then she went away.
Then she came back.
I don't know when she's leaving again.
I don't like it when she leaves.
Girlkitty doesn't play with me.
So I get lonesome.
But she's here now.
I brought her lots of presents for her pillow.
Girlkitty has learned how to use the stool to get up in the big bed of snuggly-love.
Now all of us can be in the big bed of snuggly-love together.
Even if girlkitty sleeps at the bottom of the bed and I sleep at the top, she is still in the big bed of snuggly love with me.
I think I'm growing on her.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 6:04 PM
Monday, October 1, 2007
First of all, I do NOT like the pink medicine. Humans should not be able to squirt medicine into your mouth.
Second, I seem to be feeling better. My breath doesn't stink, and my teeth don't hurt when I eat crunchies. But that has nuttin' to do with the pink junk. I got better on my own.
Third, I'm starting a new organization called The New Boy Kitty Project. I'm going to find all the other kitty boys and we are getting together to talk about Issues Affecting Our Occupation as impacted by our gender (well, the gender we would be if it hadn't been robbed from us) and age. Because we need diversity, but sometimes it's important to talk to kitties who really do get it. I like being a Rev Gal Pet Pal, for the diversity of it, and then TNBKP to be with my peeps, er, kits.
I'm hoping to be named an editor of Garfield's Brothers, an e-zine for boykitties. My first article will be about how to negotiate with humans for a better flow of cat crunchies.
Girlkitty has been pretty nice to me lately. She's going to be a Seasoned Supporter of TNBKP.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 7:01 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
My human mama came home in the middle of the day, which I thought was a good thing.
Then she put me in a cage--with no warning!--and took me to the vet.
A big loud howl.
She kept talking to me but it didn't make me feel any better.
We were in a car.
I hated it.
We got to the vet.
We waited in the lobby.
There were kitties there that don't have human mamas or daddies.
I felt bad.
But I was still scared.
And then we went in a little room.
And they weighed me and said I was healthy.
Then another lady came in, and one lady held me down and the nother lady looked in my mouth and my ears, and felt my tummy. And I didn't like it and I was scared. And I shook and shook, and human mama kept talking to me but it didn't even help because that strange nother lady was touching me.
Then she gave me two shots.
It's not fair that they hold you down. You can't leave.
Then they talked a lot. And I went back in the cage.
Then human mama took me out to the car.
And I cried and howled.
And I shook in my poopy, peepeed cage the whole way home.
And when we got home, I got out of the cage, and stood in the middle of the room and shook.
I was scared.
It was awful.
And then human mama went back to work.
When she came home, she gave me pink medicine.
It was gross.
I threw up.
But human mama thinks that's because I'm stressed out.
Because I am.
I won't let her touch me.
I sit in the corner.
Girlkitty let me have her corner.
I won't eat kitty treats.
I turn my nose up at them.
I hate this day.
I have bartonella.
Which sounds like pasta.
I hate this day.
My human mama is stupid.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 5:58 PM
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tonight the human started following her nose. I swear she's part dog. She's always smelling stuff. She followed her nose into the closet where the suitcases are kept.
She says she's been smelling cat peepee in our house for a week.
When she says that I look innocent, and girlkitty gets innocent. We remind her that her whole family teases her about being too sensitive of a nose.
Tonight, though, she found peepee in the suitcase closet.
On the suitcases.
Mama is not happy.
She used some stinky stuff to try to clean. And then she put the evil cat sucking machine in front of the door of the closet. (it opens really easy, but I'm not going anywhere near that machine.)
She's really not happy and she wants to know who did it and why.
I can neither confirm nor deny knowing anything about the peepee in the suitcase closet.
Frankly, who's to say she didn't do it her self?
Posted by Littlemankitty at 7:41 PM
Monday, September 3, 2007
Mama says that I've discovered my own voice recently. I've decided that I have a lot to say and so I'm saying it. Mostly when moving from one point to another point. Like jumping on the couch or off the couch or on the bed, off the bed, on the kitchen counter (no, no, kitty!) off the counter. I like to let off just a little mewow to let the world now that I'm a cat on the move.
When Mama calls it proclamation, I scratch on the couch to make her get away from those silly books.
Lately, I've found that earrings make really good toys.
How about you? When do you meow? What new toys have you found? Does your mama let you jump on the counter?
Posted by Littlemankitty at 3:38 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007
Yesterday I knocked a whole box of matches off the fireplace mantel. Score!
Posted by Littlemankitty at 9:23 AM
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
I've been thinking lately about last year. Last year at this time, I was living in the cat room at the animal shelter with my 2 brothers. I didn't know WHAT to think. I was born in a big city, but then someone came and took me and my brothers away with kitty mama to a big, big shelter. Mama gave us milk. Mama got fixed, and then they said she was "released" because she was "feral," but the three of us were going to get "socialized." So then we went to aNOTHER shelter, one with not many animals. And we played with each other and slept a lot. I missed kitty mama, but I know that kitty mama didn't want to be inside, so it's okay.
Human mama came and got me on August 12. One brother found his human mama on August 11, and another on August 13. I was in the middle.
I'm glad human mama came.
But I wish my brothers had email.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Dear Big Boys and Big Girls,
As you know, I'm new at being a Big Boy. I only became one in June, and I haven't even lived at Mama's house (on the street with cars and squirrels). And on the revgals page, new pastors can ask for help with how to be pastors, and so I thought that maybe if I put up my questions about how to be a big boy, some of the big boys out there can tell me how to do it right.
Here's the first question:
When I sharpen my claws on the big wicker basket where the dirty clothes are kept, my mama yells at me. How can I get her to stop this bad habit? I have been trying to ignore her, and I've tried sassing her, but she just keeps doing it. What should I do?
Here's the second question:
Every night I work really, really hard at decorating the apartment. There are lots of things to take out of the trash and move to prettier places. There are razors to knock down from the bathtub, eyeglasses and remote controls to remove from tables, and of course, it's important to take just a few socks out of the hamper and put them in the living room. Every night I do this all by myself. My sister never helps. How can I get her to help? And can I possibly get mama to just leave it all alone for once so I can get some sleep?
Here's the third question:
My mama keeps putting tape on the scratching post that she calls a sofa. It takes me weeks to get it off again. How can I stop her from doing this?
Here's the fourth question:
How can I make my sister like me better? I try jumping on her head. I try licking her ears. I try to play with her, but she doesn't seem to like me yet. What else can I do?
Posted by Littlemankitty at 11:55 AM
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
My mama will not let me get a gun, use my claws, or take self defense classes.
I'm not allowed to cuss or even call people icky poo-poo heads (sorry, Mama, it was an illustration.)
Which means that when I get MAD, I have one thing left to me: the power of the box. Or more likely, the power of not using the box.
I haven't had to use this before. But I am not afraid to. It's not the Texas towncar of justice. It's more like the kitty caravan of justice.
Someone has been VERY mean to my mama's blog friend, WS.
I don't like it.
So, I am willing to use my (ahem) aromatic liquids to get my point across.
The very best is upholstry or carpet. Someplace so it gets into the padding, and sticks around for a while.
But clothing will do.
So, who is with me?? Who is going to join me in lifting their tales in outrage? We. Can. Do. It!!!!!!!
Well, perhaps a snack and a nap first, but THEN, watch me go. I'll just snack and nap while the rest of you sign up.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 3:29 PM
Saturday, June 30, 2007
is pretty much my full time job.
Sometimes I wish I had geckos to stalk or mice to patrol, but I don't.
My main job is being cute.
One of my other duties as assigned is to keep Girlkitty awake. I do this by jumping on her head sometimes. Other times I give her kisses.
She never kisses back.
What's your job?
Posted by Littlemankitty at 3:37 PM
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I was tagged! I have to come up with 8 things about ME! This is hard because I don't really talk about myself too much. Well, maybe sometimes.
1. I had 2 brothers in my mommy's tummy. One got 'dopted before me and one after. They were black and white, too. Maybe they'll read my blog someday.
2. My human's mom and dad have 2 cats, and my human's sister has 3 cats! But I'm the only one with 6 toes on my front paws. That makes me special!
3. I really, really, really, REALLY like felt toys.
4. My favorite sleeping spots are: under the window in the extra room, my human's bed, and my human's lap.
5. I eat out of the bowl on the right, not the left. The left is for girls. I'm a boy.
6. I meow a lot. My sister hardly meows at all.
7. I have a human girlfriend. Her name is Emily. But she graduated and moved away. I think she'll still come back sometimes to be my babysitter. My human says no, but she doesn't know how much Emily loves me.
8. I have an owey on my ear. My human keeps trying to put medicine on it but I don't like medicine at all.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 4:54 PM
Monday, June 4, 2007
Posted by Littlemankitty at 2:16 PM
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Thank you very much for the new loveys. I LOVE them. I LOVE felt toys! They are the best! You are the best! I want to be your best friend forever, okay? I had a good birthday. Mama says she'll take a picture of me tomorrow because she left her camera at work.
You are the best friends a kitty could ever ask for.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 4:23 PM
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
You get anything in your Easter basket?
three human socks,
a blue fish that looks JUST LIKE the blue fish I already have!
some greenies that look JUST LIKE the greenies I already have
a plastic egg that looks JUST LIKE the one I stole from the human.
Easter is the best!
Posted by Littlemankitty at 2:50 PM
Friday, April 6, 2007
The human says this is holey week. I don't understand these things at all. Only humans would celebrate holey things, big empty spaces where good stuff could go. Like cat toys, or greenies, or stuff you steal from the humans. Holes are meant to be filled, I think. Filled with good stuff.
She came home last Sunday with a long piece of grass. I think maybe holey week is a week where they dig up big holes in the grass, and she took home a piece to show me. I ate it. Just a little. But I ate it.
It wasn't as good as a greenie.
And then she worried. She fretted about songs and prayers. I don't understand this. I sing what I want to sing. Nobody tells me the words. I pray when I want to pray. Nobody tells me the words. Why does she have to write all of it down on the computer and send it to somebody who makes mistakes? How can a song have a mistake? I love songs. I sing a song every morning. It goes "mewow. mewow. mewow. I love days. I love nights. I love food. mewow. mewow. mewow." I am thinking of trying to get an agent.
And then she stayed up late writing on her computer and fell asleep on the couch. I liked that. I could snuggle with mommy and watch the window at the same time. Because there are squirrels! outside! And I need to watch them. I really do.
Then there were fusses over clothes and everything warm was being cleaned or in a box and it was cold and it's not supposed to be cold and it's supposed to be Holy Week not advent and ironing is the product of the devil.
I licked my face and looked beautiful.
I tried to lick her face and she turned away.
And now she's boiling eggs and singing a song and she went to church again today and I'm really confused because she went yesterday and it was night. How are kitties supposed to know?? Weekdays are when mommy gets up and comes back when it's dark and your tummy is growling. Sundays are when mommy gets up and comes back and your tummy is not yet growling. What is it when mommy goes to work and then goes to church?
I'll tell you what it is: wrong.
That's why it's holey week. There are big spaces in it that should be empty but are all filled upwith WRONG STUFF. So I'm going to dig with my 12 front claws until I find a hole again. Because I miss my mommy.
I haven't picked a 'ligion yet. My sister is a quaker. I'm not a quaker. I know that. I don't know what I am.
My religion is this: sun spots and baths, squirrels out the window, greenies and the hope for more greenies, the green pillow, the blue fish, sister, mommy and me.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 11:10 AM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I carried a dirty sock all the way to the front door today. Score!
Don't you think it's rude when your own human says that you have bad breath? Like hers smells like tuna. Hey, maybe they make tuna breath mints. That would make her breath smell better, don't you think? My breath smells GOOOOOOOOOOD and my human is crazy.
I'm just saying.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 6:41 PM
Sunday, March 25, 2007
When the human goes away and abandons me, she takes the computer. Then I can't blog. And that isn't fair.
I've been working on destroying a blanket while she was gone.
When I finish, I'll post pictures and a pattern so you can do it at home, too.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 10:23 AM
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
My friends, I have been totally framed. I did not steal those blue glasses. I did not take the Mobil gas credit card. I did not take the green earring or the red one. I did not take 7 shiny round things. I didn't, didn't, didn't!
Those mean ladies with the loud roaring machines---they did it! They did it! Not me! I'm a good boy. I'm a really good boy! I'm a really, really good boy!
Posted by Littlemankitty at 11:31 AM
Thursday, March 1, 2007
My mama works too long at night. I get lonely. Would you come over and play with me? I have greenies. And toys. And a real swell quilt.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 7:05 PM
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I asked mama for a box for Valentine's Day. I might need it.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 7:44 AM
Thursday, February 8, 2007
My mom is boring.
My sister doesn't like me.
My foot is all better, and I'm bored.
Anyone wanna come over to my house and play?
I've got some really cool toys. I have a felt fish that's really cool, and lots of milk tabs, and if my mom isn't being stupid like usual, she can play birdy with us.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 5:37 AM
Monday, February 5, 2007
Mom left. (bad)
Cool kittysitter came. (good)
She knows about the ear drops. (bad)
My foot is a lot better. (good)
My mom came back. (good)
I did the happy dance for a while, and ran in circles around the apartment. (very good)
Then she gave me ear drops (bad).
Then my sister and I had snuggles on mama's lap (very good).
My mama came back.
I like the cool kittysitter.
I like mama more.
PS: What's new with you?
Posted by Littlemankitty at 6:52 PM
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I got put in a cage and went on a car ride.
That part was fine. And my mama said I was a very. good. boy.
Then I went to the waiting room. There were cats and fish and dogs and people. I came out of the cage, because I like to greet people.
That part was fine.
Then I went into a little room with a pretty lady who said I was a very big boy. She said I weigh 8.4 pounds, and that I am more than double what I weighed last time. And that I'm pretty.
That part was fine.
Then we waited.
That part was fine.
Then the vet came in with the pretty lady. The vet was a lady, too. The vet kept talking to mama, and tried to talk to me, too, but I didn't say nothin' back because I was shy. She touched all of my parts of my leg, and when she got to the part that hurt, I meowed. I tried to be polite about it but you really shouldn't touch the owy parts.
Then she started looking at my ear.
That part was not fine.
Not fine at all.
I don't like people in my ear.
It finally ended and she took my temperature. Do you know what they do to do that? Doesn't that seem really, really WRONG?
Not fine. Not fine at all.
Then I got a shot, but it was in my back leg and I hardly felt it at all.
And the vet said I was a very. good. boy. And the pretty lady said I was a very. good. boy.
Then mama paid and I think that's stupid. If someone is going to touch the owy parts and then stick things where they don't belong you don't PAY them! And then we went to the car.
And it was NOT fine. I howled and cried. I had it up to here. So mama had to pet me and tell me how pretty I am before we could leave. Then we drove home. And I got lots of greenies.
And that part was fine.
I don't think I really want to go to the vet again very soon.
Human comment: he has a sprained shoulder, and a yeast infection in his ear. And the vet said to keep him quiet. The woman is clearly deluded.But he was a very good boy.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 9:44 AM
Monday, January 29, 2007
I don't know how.
I hurted my foot.
I try to walk on three pawsies, but it's hard.
And my mama is worried, and she came home for lunch to make sure I'm okay.
Tomorrow I have to go to the vet.
It's really hard to play when you've hurted your foot.
But greenies make it better.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 11:29 AM
Thursday, January 18, 2007
...and I am a beautiful boy.
But I have a problem, oh internets.
See, I have pretty white fur on my four paws.
It's very pretty.
But it gets really dirty. Not just on the bottom where my paws touch the floor (ahem! house cleaning!) but also on the top. I look dingy.
I don't want to be a fashion don't. How do I get my pawsies clean and white? (Believe it or not, my own baths aren't working, and I don't want to go in that stupid old sink again!)
Posted by Littlemankitty at 7:07 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
I had a very little litter box, the size of a piece of paper, but I was having "aim issues" (whatever that means) and the human got all upset about some rug that was on the back of the box. Whatever. I never liked that rug anyway.
My sister has a big girl litter box, but she really doesn't like it when I use it, and, well, girl germs=ew.
So now I have my very own big boy litter box. NO Girlz allowed! This is a picture of me checking it out to be sure it's all good and stuff.
I'm so happy.
But even while I'm happy, I'm sad for Whistle. He needs a big boy litter box, too.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 3:54 PM
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Originally uploaded by ppolarbear.
Posted by Littlemankitty at 5:20 PM