Being a Boy

Today, my human mama was cleaning the litter box. She was saying that I make a big mess. She says girlkitty does her business and gets right out, but that I play around and kick around sand, and stuff. And that girlkitty has to have her litterbox CLEAN and I don't care.

She said I'm just like a human boy.

But I don't KNOW many human boys. So what does that mean?

My mama is a single mama. That's supposed to make you sad and think she's brave and noble. Then if you find out she's a single mama on purpose, if you're a right wing 'publican, you say it's AWFUL! What's next? 2 girls being mamas together? 2 boys? AWFUL! AWFUL!

I said, "what do left wing 'publicans say?" She said that her daddy is a left wing publican and he says it's okay so long as it doesn't cost any money.

I like her daddy, my human grandpa.

Mama is not a 'publican of the left or the right wing. She's a demo-cat. I think I'm a demo-cat, too.

But I was thinking that I really want to have a big brother. You know so I can learn how to be man. Maybe men are publicans and mamas are demo-cats. How will I know if I don't have a big brother.

Do you know anyone who wants to be my big brother and teach me how to be a Big Man and whether or not I should be a publican? I'd specially like it if my Big Brother is also a lawyer. 'Cause I still might be in trouble for that destruction of private property thing and maybe a few petty thefts. But it really wasn't me. It was some other cat with extra toes.

Whistle! I need your Dad!

Whistle, if you're reading this, I need to talk to your human Dad. I need a lawyer, buddy, and I need one bad. I have been accused--UNJUSTLY--of a crime involving a computer cord. I DIDN'T do it! No, I didn't! I was just sitting here the whole time with my paws crossed being cute and thinking about Jesus.

Help me! I'm afraid I'm going to Jail. I don't want to do hard time. I'm a good boy!

She's Back!!!!

Alleluia!!!!
I missed my mama.
We had belly rubs and happy dances!
How are you? Is your mama back?

There are suitcases again.

A LOT of them.
She's leaving.
She's taking some college kids.
She made them lunches and I didn't get any.
My mom is NOT NICE.

But the Rabbi's daughter is coming over on Monday!!!!!
I'm going to go take a bath right now! Maybe I can wear some cologne.

Phew

Mama came back.
Her bags smell like another cat, but I can't figure out which cat.
I have been doing a lot of snuggling.
Mama keeps asking if I liked the Rabbi's daughter, but I'm not telling. Some stuff is private.
Last night we had a fire. That was really fun.
The only thing that's kind of bothering me is that she didn't put away her stuff. She said she'd just be packing it up again in a few days.
What on earth could that mean?