Whistle! I need your Dad!

Whistle, if you're reading this, I need to talk to your human Dad. I need a lawyer, buddy, and I need one bad. I have been accused--UNJUSTLY--of a crime involving a computer cord. I DIDN'T do it! No, I didn't! I was just sitting here the whole time with my paws crossed being cute and thinking about Jesus.

Help me! I'm afraid I'm going to Jail. I don't want to do hard time. I'm a good boy!