Conversation Hearts

My human mama bought a bag of conversation hearts yesterday. I think it's funny that humans need candy to talk. So last night, while she was sleeping (why do humans sleep for such a long time in a row, anyway), I tried some. I tried a lot. I took a few nibbles on each one. Then I spread them out on the floor, so human mama could see what I did. And I put one in her bed. It was there when she woke up. It was very funny because first she thought SHE ate a candy in the middle of the night, and she was all confused. Then she got out of bed and saw the others. She said the little nibbles look like the nibbles on all her shoes that I've decorated for her (do you decorate shoes, too? I like doing it. I make really good designs on the toes.) Then she gathered them all up and threw them out, which is just STOOOOOOOPID because I got them all ready for her.

Humans are so hard to understand.

PS: My favorite heart said, "you rule." How did they know that I'd be the one to get it?